She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Even my vagina gasped.
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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