Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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