You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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