Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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