the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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