Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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