i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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