I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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