You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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