I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
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You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize