she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
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There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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