the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize