No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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