i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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