Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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