im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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