So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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