please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize