How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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