Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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