if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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