Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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