Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
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And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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