I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sext me about skeletons
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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