I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize