that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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