Did you just see the Batmobile???
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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