i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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