TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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