Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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