My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize