I faked an abortion last night.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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