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my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
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