help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize