I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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