Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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