Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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