Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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