it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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