I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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