Dual....:-)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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