you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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