she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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