think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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