he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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