Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What a dumb baby whore.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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