You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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