I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize