I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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