I showed him my bush... on skype.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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